Every time I think about this story, I want to laugh in joy and embarrassment. It's a cringe worthy story, but also a worthy decision in the long run.
First kisses are scary. You've seen it in movies, and you've read it in books. But what actually happens when the time comes? What thoughts are running through the mind? How do you do it? That was literally me. But don't worry; hopefully, I'll clear some things up for you guys.
A little background information before we get started: all my friends had boyfriends through Sophomore and Junior year of high school. I haven't dated since 6th grade (plus, can you really call that dating?? It was in 6th grade, so I don't even count that). Anyways, I felt super left out. I wanted someone who I could laugh with and go on cute dates with and cuddle with. I wanted someone who I could get gifts for and talk all night with, all the while never getting bored.
That being said, I tried my hand out at some flirting (that in itself is a whole other story). Let's just say it didn't work out the way I wanted it to, and I went into Junior year with a new mind set: A relationship will emerge when you're not looking for it, so calm the fuck down and just go with life.
It was December 5th of 2014 (Yes, I remember the date. Yes, I will explain why later). I was in a choir where we went caroling around schools within the school district. It was wonderful because I only went to school for a total of 10 days in December and did the one thing I loved to do: sing.
We went caroling around the middle school for two days, and during those two days, we had a lot of downtime. I got to know a lot of the choir members, who are still to this day some of my best friends. That being said, I got to know one person particularly well. He was a bass singer, with brown hair and black framed glasses. He was tall, and I knew he had a great voice. We had the same taste in music, and he was super funny and nice. We flirted, even though I was totally and completely unaware that I was flirting.
December 5th was a Friday, and I was hanging out with my best friend then. I remember telling her about this guy, and how cute and funny he was. She was completely supportive of it, and told me that I should hang out with him sometime. What I didn't expect was that "sometime" would be that very night. Ironically, my best friend's boyfriend was that guy's best friend. What a small world right? (It actually was a small world; choir kids always stick together, and that's what we were).
My best friend and I called her boyfriend to talk about this possibility. I remember my heart pounding and I was super nervous, even though we didn't agree to hang out at that point.
"Do you think he'd do it?" I asked. It was a little after 9pm when we called him, and my best friend and I were sitting on my bed.
"Make out with you?" my best friend's boyfriend said over the phone. I cringed at the suggestion, but my heart was still pounding in excitement.
"Uh, yeah." I replied.
"Yeah, he will." He said easily. I was surprised at how quick he was to answer.
"Okay, wait," I argued. "How do you know he'll agree to this? You can't just force him into something he may or may not want to do."
"Well, he's sitting right next to me and I'm on speaker phone and he seems fine with it."
I kid you not, at that moment, I was ready to run out of the house, screaming in embarrassment. That entire time, when I was asking my best friend's boyfriend if the cute guy was okay with it, he was actually sitting RIGHT NEXT to my best friend's boyfriend. Ugh. Thinking about it now makes me laugh uncontrollably, but at that moment, I hated myself.
Fast forward an hour later, and there I was, extremely scared and nervous out of my mind. I made sure to chew on some gum and spray on a little Bath and Body Works body mist before they came over. I had to make a good impression.
As they came in, I lead both boys to my room. I smiled at the cute boy and he smiled back, blah blah blah, butterflies in my stomach, all that fun stuff. We decided to watch Anchorman (I have no clue why, but sure, that was our movie choice). Me and the cute boy were on my bed while my best friend and her boyfriend were on the ground.
Eventually, I gave the laptop to my best friend and her boyfriend while me and the cute boy talked. We talked a little about music and school, and before I knew it, he was leaning in. And I found myself leaning as far as possible into the bed. My heart was pounding and my hands went numb. This was it. This was what I was waiting for. In all the movies and books I've read, this was the point where the girl got her sappy, romantic kiss, right?
Well, I wouldn't call it romantic or sappy. Just ... a kiss. A regular kiss that wasn't as exciting as I thought it to be. Anyways, back to the story: within those two inches between my face and his, I just leaned in. It was an impulse act. I remember thinking about turning my face and killing the anticipation, but I knew this was my only chance, and I couldn't blow it.
I leaned in, and ta-da! My first kiss. Life changing? Not exactly. A good decision? Most definitely.
Fast forward 2 years later, and there I am with the cute boy who now is my wonderful and handsome boyfriend. I find it hilarious that this was the origin of our story, but I wouldn't want it any other way.
First kisses are scary, but in reality, they're a stepping stone you need to accomplish in order to find the one for you, whether it be 20 kisses later, or even the first one. So be patient and don't look too hard for the right one to come along. As time passes, the one for you will arise at an unexpected time, and let me tell you, that feeling is priceless.